A Few Diseased Sub-Human Apples Don’t Spoil The Whole Batch

I am a doctor. It is the title with which I have associated myself for more than half of the years I have been alive. I am well aware that the title conjures up so, SO many images and so SO much commentary. Depending on the era, there have been positive connotations and negative connotations. Long ago, (when I was a kid) doctors were usually adored. They were respected, highly regarded, and thought to be intelligent, hard working, empathetic and usually kind. I am not exactly sure how it all happened, but in my lifetime, those opinions have taken a huge turnaround, and I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t thought, or at least heard other people’s opinions that doctors (in general, as well as particular ones they have known) are greedy, unsympathetic, uninformed, unworthy of respect, and, most of all, dumb. The general public truly believes that the information and opinions that they get from the internet are just as valid (if not moreso) than the advice and recommendations they get from their doctor.

This has been a result of a combination of events over time, including, but not limited to — an inability for most doctors to practice the way they would like to, a system that allows non-medical people to decide how and when we can treat, see and prescribe things for our patients, (as well as how much time we are “allowed” to spend with patients) a system that rewards procedures and treatments instead of preventative care and keeping people healthy, and numerous scandals showing that doctors are capable of actions from distasteful and wrong (being short or rude with their patients), to the scandalous and illegal (having inappropriate relationships with patients), to the arrest-warranting (Medicare fraud and tax evasion), to the horrific (the most recent disgusting revelations about the doctor who ruined the lives of the Olympic athletes by convincing them that what he was doing was somehow medically related and necessary). So I “get” why the nature of the doctor-patient relationship has changed in so many cases.

It saddens me.

After this latest horrific and criminal scandal was revealed, I read some of the statements by the girls who had endured the abuse. One said “I will NEVER be able to trust a doctor again”. I get it. And it makes me so sad. That piece of shit who should rot in jail has caused a whole generation of girls and women to be less likely to go to doctors, less likely to confide in doctors, less likely to get help or treatment for the things they may truly need help with — and more likely to question whether a doctor is someone to be trusted, relied on and at all respected.

And then I think — -really think about what I do. I am a Gynecologist. I am the person who has what truly has to be considered an “intimate” relationship with my patients. Of course — in a Medical way. In a Professional way. In a Diagnostic way. In a Treatment-oriented way. My patients tell me the most intimate details of their lives. They reveal their thoughts and their desires and their pain and their sexual histories to me. I have treated girls who have never been sexually active yet had a problem which required an exam. I have treated elderly women who hadn’t been sexually active in years. I have treated women who have never had sex.I have treated girls and women with developmental delay. I have treated many victims of sexual abuse. Of all ages. And every single time I see, talk to and treat a patient, I look at the exam, the conversation, the consultation from their point of view. What can I do, or say, or show them, or tell them, to make the whole process less uncomfortable and more tolerable? I am thinking this almost every moment of my working day.

I know that most of my patients come to see ME particularly because I am a woman, and that is at least the “lesser of evils” for someone who has to endure an exam that is so invasive and private in nature. I know that there is a certain amount I can “lighten the mood” with a patient and a certain amount that I need to be “all business”. Every patient is different and every patient experience is different and I need to assess the situation and take it all into consideration.

Every. Single. Time.

There are many many of us — both male AND female gynecologists who understand that it is difficult for many women and girls to walk into our office. Some more difficult than others but all realizing that it’s at the very least, weird and uncomfortable to have someone examining you like that. And yes, in a way I can see how patients say it’s better to go to a woman gynecologist than a man (even though I promise I know many great male gynecologists who would never think of being unprofessional with their patients) because it’s a little “less weird”. And I have never had a patient tell me or report to anyone else that I made her feel uncomfortable with her exam. I would feel horrible and sad if someone did.

So I realize (more now) that I need to even more than I had — be MORE empathetic — MORE explanatory — MORE sure of a patient’s comfort level and understanding of what I say and what I am about to do.

I am sorry for what those Olympic athletes had to endure at the hands of not just one “bad apple” — but one disgusting sub-human that should not have had the privilege to even be in the same room with these gifted women and girls. I will try- we ALL should try — to earn back that trust that HE took away. Please know that we are out there. And please let us take care of you.